One of the largest secrets we strive to keep is a sense of autonomy and pride. The concept or feeling that you are crucial in some unique way, that you are loved by a particular person, that someone is giving you unique attention, these are some of the ego’s very subtle secrets. We are trying to hide our Heavenly Self and are engaging in all these varied games, which seem to be very upsetting. It is quite depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we endeavor to get scraps of special love, attention and recognition to prop ourselves up.
We work so hard at becoming “superior people”, at acquiring greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be admired more and be more famous. The entire self-help industry is focused on bettering the self so you can grow into a better you. That is another trick we secretly partake on ourselves, thinking we have to keep rotating our wheels trying to grow into better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very calming when you start to grasp that you do not have to turn into any better than you currently are. You were formed perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find peace but through self-acceptance.
As I engaged with A Course in Miracles, I could notice that there was a dread of divine love in my mind. I recognized this was the ego’s fear of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being revealed and being perceived as a puff of nothingness. That is the fear of intimacy. We discuss about this terror in relationships, which is sometimes projected as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a dread of dropping our persona, our mask of uniqueness. It is the fear of getting swept away by a splendid love, a love so intense that none of us can even fathom something as glorious and powerful!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great awareness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something incorrect, whether you’ve pleasured yourself, taken something, mistreated somebody, or there is something in your mind that you have judged as so hideous that you don’t even want to face it, you just want to overlook about it and push it out of notice.
Beneath all those recollections and ideas, is the belief that we are separated. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an unfeasible belief, but we think that it is true; We have judged it as terrible and have pushed it out of awareness. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in separation. And as you really provide yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally encounter this hidden belief in separation!
Please, share any thoughts and remarks with me below, I’d appreciate to hear about your experience!
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